I feel sad.
Sadness in the mind, sadness in the solar plexus, sadness along my spine.
Fine particles of melancholy spread out in the air. The dishwasher gurgles. The sun reveals small stains of dust on the window pane. The sky is so blue it makes my heart miss a beat.
Leaving always disturbs me. I can’t avoid it. It has always been like that and it will always be. I do not nurture any vain hopes of getting rid of my separation angst.
Maybe somewhere along the way I have come to accept the fact. This feeling has been with me since the beginning of time. Ironically enough, we are probably inseparable. It would be meaningless to fight it and not give it space to exist. Somehow, it compels me to move forward.
Today I take another temporary farewell from my kin.
My suitcase is almost packed and I am ready to go out on a long sun-washed walk and then meet my sister for a cup of tea. I will enjoy the moment and let my sadness dissolve like tea leaves in hot water. I will treat myself to an almondy cookie and feel how its sweetness reflects the good times we’ve had.
I will leave with the spiraling hope of good times ahead. It must be the only right way to leave.